jokes

 

THE MONKEY
A boy was walking with a monkey when a policeman stopped him and said, “Young man, that monkey belongs in the zoo.” The boy told the officer: “OK.” The next day the policeman saw the boy and he still had the monkey with him. The officer told the boy: “Either take that monkey to the zoo or to a circus.” The boy said: “Okay.” The following day the policeman saw the boy again with the monkey, and very irritated he told him: “I told you to take that monkey to a zoo or to the circus.” The boy replied: “Two days ago I took him to the zoo as you told me, and he enjoyed it. Yesterday I took him to the circus and he was delighted. Today I am taking him to see a Walt Disney movie. I think he will enjoy it.”

EL MONO
Un chico caminaba con un mono, y un policía lo detuvo y le dijo: “Jovencito, ese mono pertenece en el zoológico.” El muchacho le contesta: “Está bien.” El día siguiente el oficial vuelve a ver al chico con el mono, y le dice: “O lleva ese mono a un zoológico o a un circo.” El chico le contesta: “Así lo haré.” Pasa ese día, y el policía vuelve a ver al chico con el mono. Frustrado e irritado le dice: “Jovencito, le dije que llevara ese mono al zoológico o a un circo.”
El chico le contesta: “Antier lo llevé al zoológico como usted me dijo, y le encantó. Ayer lo llevé al circo, y se divirtió mucho. Hoy lo llevo a una película de Walt Disney. Yo creo que le va a encantar.”


   THREE LEMONS
A man comes to church on a Tuesday wanting to see the pastor. The man: “Young lady, I need to see the pastor.” The secretary: “Sir, do you have an appointment?” The man: “No, but I need to see him.” The secretary: “I’ll go and ask him if he can see you.” The secretary comes back and tells the man: “The pastor will see you now.” The man goes into the pastor’s office: “Pastor, I have a big problem. I am looking at all the young girls lustfully.” The pastor: “Eat three lemons every day from now on.” The man: “Will that take my lust away?”The pastor: “No, but it will take that smirk away from your face.”
LOS TRES LIMONES
El martes en la mañana un hombre quiere hablar con el pastor. El hombre: “Señorita, necesito hablar con el pastor.” La secretaria: “¿Tiene cita con él?” EL hombre: “No, pero necesito verlo.” La secretaria: “Voy a preguntarle si tiene tiempo para usted.” La secretaria vuelve y le dice: “El pastor lo puede recibir ahorita.” El hombre entra a la oficina del pastor: “Pastor, tengo un problema grande. Miro a las jovencitas con mucha lascivia.” El pastor: “Coma tres limones todos los días de aquí en adelante.” El hombre: “¿Eso me quitará la lascivia?” El pastor: “No, pero le quitará esa sonrisa de la cara.”

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